On IWD 2022, it's time to bring back girlhood.
(In this article, I focus on the mental health needs of girl-identifying children and youth. My perspective is shaped by my lived experience as a girl, along with the professional experiences I gained over 5 years at Dandelion Dance. In my call to "bring back girlhood," it is not my intention to imply that children of other gender identities do not struggle with serious mental health challenges. It is just that, simply put, I am not the right person to speak to what children of other genders experience or need.)
I have been meaning to write this for a very long time. Today is a good day for it.
The banner photo for this post is one of my most cherished memories from Dandelion Dance, an organization that I nurtured for five years alongside the amazing women you see next to me - and countless others who are not in the photo, but were also in the room that night or with us in spirit. It is from the IWD event we held on March 6, 2020 at Arts Court here in Ottawa - a mere week before the pandemic began to shut things down in our city, province and country. As it would turn out, that would be our last IWD event ever.
Looking at this photo is bittersweet. That evening, we felt that we had officially entered a new phase in our development and identity as an organization. We felt like we had finally gotten our messaging right, and that we had done our job to help our guests see that Dandelion's raison d'être was not about dance. Dance was the medium. It wasn't the point. It never had been.
If you ask me today, "So, what was the point of Dandelion?" I would tell you girls from all walks of life are losing the wonder of childhood - of girlhood - because of the harsh judgments, harmful expectations and dangerous messages they experience in our culture from a very young age. I would tell you Dandelion's mission was to provide a safe creative space for every girl (or any child that identified as a girl) to simply be her true self through play.
You might then ask, "Is that really necessary?" In response, I would say that it has never been more critical to provide girls safe places to play, partly (but not only) because of the pervasive and disproportionately negative impacts of social media on their lives. I would invite you to think about the degree to which girls are pressured to perform for others from an incredibly young age, regardless of their own desires. And I would say that it is impossible to know who you are and what you want if you are far too busy trying to please others to put yourself and your own needs first.
To me, play is the antidote to performance; and play is exactly what girls need more of in their lives.* I also believe that as a society, we are failing girls, despite ample evidence that their mental and emotional health is suffering in many ways:
The 2019 CAMH Mental Health and Well-being report found that 86% of girls from grades 7 to 12 experienced moderate to serious psychological distress in 2019; and 20.9% reported feeling “worthless.”
UNICEF Canada’s 2019 report on child and youth well-being indicates that girls are more likely than boys to report poor body image, lack of confidence, and exclusion from decision-making.
Eating disorder experts from the U.S. report that pre-adolescent girls start to shy away from giving an opinion, going to school, and taking part in activities like swimming because they feel badly about how they look.
These are but a few examples of Canadian and international research about the well-being of girls. There is plenty of evidence that we need to invest in programs that support girls' mental health, especially girls who experience intersecting oppressions. There just isn't a lot of money for it. At least, not yet.
On IWD 2022, it is great to see people celebrate the women in their families, workplaces, and communities. I think it is just as important to look at what we can do to support the girls in our lives. As a society, we need to protect their girlhoods. They deserve to let their imaginations run wild, make mistakes, and experiment with new ideas. They deserve experiences and spaces that help them to develop a strong sense of self, so that they know it is perfectly alright to show up in the world just as they are. These are not luxuries or "nice to haves." These are essential childhood experiences that are denied to so many girls because we are immersed in a culture that is toxic to their well-being.
As a woman, I think it's on me to nurture safe spaces for the girls in my community. With this article, I'm embarking on a path of new (at least, to me!) conversations - very serious conversations - about what we can do to bring back girlhood. More to come soon on this topic. I hope you'll join me. __________________________________________________________________________* I am not an expert on child development or a social scientist. A lot has been written about the distinction between play and performance by people more learned than me on the topic. If you want more food for thought, check out this blog by Dandelion's founder, Hannah Beach. This very recent article in The Atlantic about the dangers of social media for girls also describes the distinction and provides links to research. If you want research about the value of girls-only programs, and arts-based approaches to supporting the healthy development of girls, check out this lit review from the Girls Action Foundation. And there's more out there, if you take the time to look.
